Moonlight On the Sea
by Lazerwolf314
Summary: She must bear the water's hold after it takes root.
1. Chapter 1

**Moonlight On the Sea**

* * *

><p>Looking up from underneath<br>Fractured moonlight on the sea  
>Reflections still look the same to me<br>As before I went under

~Never Let Me Go : Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>Andrea McNally loved the smell of water. And respected it to the fullest.<p>

Rivers, streams, lakes, ponds, oceans or seas, it didn't matter. Ever since childhood, the scent of flowing liquid, be it over mud, rocks or algae, was enough to cheer her from some of her most miserable days. To this day, she still didn't quite know why she was so drawn to the water, just that she was.

Perhaps it was the wildness of it all.

How water could be so gentle in one moment and become a deadly force in the next. How it was life sustaining and life destroying.

Whenever an ocean storm or hurricane was on television, she would plant herself in front of it and watch religiously until Nature had played herself out. She was enthralled by the chaos, amazed as the water ate at land and people held on it. At this age, she didn't understand how the people could be there one minute and gone the next or why Tommy had tried to turn off the flickering TV whenever a part like that was aired. All she knew was the ocean was something no one could ever understand and that knowledge drew her even closer.

The mysteries held under the surface had fascinated her from when she could walk and her father had taken her out to the beach on weekly adventures. Sometimes, if she was lucky, they would head out a handful of times in one week.

She had taught herself to swim in the waters off the coast of PEI when they had gone to visit relatives. Her Aunt and Uncle had claimed she had taken to the water like a fish and Tommy had simply looked on proudly. With a few lessons from her older cousin, she had nearly mastered all of the strokes and spent most of that summer either at the pool or at the beach.

Growing older and learning much too fast how to take care of herself, the piers of Toronto had become a source of escape. No matter the time or circumstances, she would more often than not find herself standing beside a massive tanker and staring out over the water. It was when she turned fourteen that the pier became a sort of lifeline to her. Her father had missed her birthday that year, as well as the day before, and come stumbling home from one of the worst benders she had witnessed. He hadn't said a single word to her, just marched through their dirty apartment and into bed.

That night, she sat on the very edge of the wood, letting the wash and crash of waves ease some of the fear and pain that had built up over so long.

In essence, the ocean saved her life.

Going through high school, being the outsider girl with a cop for a father, the swim team had kept her sane. She was pretty damn good at it too, making national times for her age group and competing in meets around the province and east coast. There was a brief moment when she even considered going for a scholarship with her times, but registered for the Academy before she put too much thought into it.

Now that she was a full-fledged officer with the Fifteenth division, she rarely got any time to swim anymore. Her tradition of going out to the pier had faded and in its place, drinking at the Black Penny with her fellow rookies became her new habit. But she would seldom pass up the chance to patrol along the waters whenever the offer arose.

Which is how she found herself riding solo and doing a sweep along the piers.

The night was quiet and the moon bright and already, she was feeling happier. The week had been taking a toll on her. With shifts piling up one after another, every night or day home to some new excitement, more often than not, she was half asleep by the end of each patrol. And with Traci currently crashing on Andy's couch thanks to some spat with Jerry and Luke still being an insistent asshole, her life was in some serious need of relaxation.

Then there was Sam Swarek.

Cutting off that train of thought before it could even begin, Andy shook her head sharply and peered out the cruiser's windows towards the water. Moonlight danced off the small waves, little diamonds on the water.

"_1519, reports of a disturbance near the South Pier have been reported._" The static of her radio jolted her from her thoughts and she sighed.

"This is 1519, en route to location."

"_Copy._"

Flicking on the cruisers lights, she pushed the gas and sped along the chain link fence that only kept out the cowardly and those who wouldn't even bother. When she bumped through a large puddle, sending a sheet of dirty water flying in all directions, a grin spread and her heart started pounding.

Okay, maybe all the action wasn't so bad.

When she reached the gated section of the fence, she was surprised to see the chain cut and looming doors wide open. Eyes scanning the surroundings cautiously, she edged the vehicle through the opening and pulled to the side, parking neatly.

Climbing out, she clicked on her high beam flashlight and set off in the direction of the pier, keeping a careful watch around her and a hand on the butt of her weapon. She did a slow, careful sweep of the buildings, making sure they were locked up tight, and made her way through the maze of surrounding containers. Certain no one was about, she headed towards the shipping passage.

The smell coming off the water bolstered her spirits. It was fresh. It was wild. It was _home_.

It was enough distraction that, when she headed to the edge in order to peer out over the water and examine the hulking freighter, she missed the two figures crouched behind a shipping container abandoned to the side of the pier. Cast in shadows from the moonlight and the container itself, they were easy to miss.

She should've seen them.

Stopping at the very end, her boots thumping solidly against the foot high barrier, she reached absently for her radio and breathed deep.

"Dispatch, this is Officer McNally; I'm at the South Pier and-"

Her finger was still on the button when she felt something akin to an elephant slam into her back.

The thunderclap of two shots rang out an instant later, even as her body pitched over the edge. Her vision went red and black, stars exploding in the corners and air was punched from her lungs. There was a split instant where she was suspended in the air, staring down at the cold, unforgiving water and all she could think was;

_False start. McNally is disqualified._

Then time snapped into high speed and the water welcomed her into its frozen embrace, light spinning away in the darkness.

However, today, Andrea McNally was terrified of the water.

...

* * *

><p><em>...<em>

_Author's Note: Hello readers! I would like to announce that I have commenced '**The Rookies Choice Awards'**, where authors can be recognized and recognize those stories you deem amazing. These awards will be held through May and June and would like to encourage each reader and author alike to participate in nominating their favorite fics and authors for the first year of the "__Rookies Choice Awards__!" The nomination ballot, rules and category summaries can each be found (in time) at "The Parade" Forum. To reach those posts, please take a trip to the forum itself. I look forward to hearing from each of you!_

_In order to get the word out to as many as possible, I ask you, my fellow authors and readers, to let others know of this exciting opportunity. Whether by author's notes or Facebook, please let everyone know that the awards season will begin soon._

_Thank you!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Moonlight On the Sea**

* * *

><p>And it's peaceful in the deep<br>Cathedral where you cannot breathe  
>No need to pray no need to speak<br>Now I am under all

~ Never Let Me Go : Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>Ice needles, thousands and thousands of them, erupted over her exposed skin, so cold, it was fiery. The need to scream from the pain was so great, a building pressure in her chest, but nothing escaped. There was simply no air.<p>

Sinking like a stone, her body still frozen from the impact of the bullets, Andy couldn't tell which way was up or down. Her arms and legs were out of her control, useless heavy weights in her plunge to the bottom. Not even the air still in her lungs was enough to buoy her, the weight of Kevlar soaked with water, standard issue boots and belt loaded with cuffs and gun dragging her faster and faster to the frozen muck down below.

It was only when the force squeezing her ears so painfully overrode her state of shock, did she strike out weakly for the surface. Or what she believed to be the surface. Just when her mind started to shut down, when her body revolted on itself and prepared to inhale, no matter the substance, her head broke through the surface.

Air, blessed air, whistled into her lungs and she gasped, sputtering and hacking. There was water seeping into her throat and nose and it burned. Tears stinging her eyes, Andy had to fight to keep herself afloat. Already, her limbs felt like lead. It was the cold, she knew. It was forcing her body to shut down in order to protect her organs.

Her vision clear now that she could breathe, she looked around frantically for something, anything, that could support her, at least until help came. But it was dark and clouds had covered the moon, leaving her in near blackness.

A sob caught in her throat and she forgot to kick for a moment, her head dipping beneath the surface. The new wave of cold brought a new, overwhelming wave of panic and she clawed upwards again. Blind with fear, she struck outwards, swimming as fast as she could in her waterlogged uniform. There was no sense of direction, no realization that she may be headed even further from safety. Just the need to get away.

This wasn't how she was supposed to die.

As it were, luck was on her side for a brief instant that night. Her flailing arm struck something solid and the shock was enough to jerk her from the mounting insanity. It took some fumbling and shakes before she had an idea of what she hit. It was one of the support beams holding the pier above her up. The waterlogged wood was crusted with sea life that ripped and tore her arms, but it was there so she clung to it fiercely. Both arms wrapped tightly around the beam and she rested her cheek against it, sucking in more shaking breaths.

Even though she had only swum for a handful of seconds, her eyes were already fluttering shut with exhaustion. Her arms felt like limp noodles around the wood, and the weight of her water filled vest and gun belt was dragging her lower and lower in the water.

Snapping her head from side to side, she sought for clarity and was granted a moment. Using the wakefulness while it lasted, Andy released one arm from its desperate hug and plunged it beneath the water. With numb fingers, she attacked the straps at her opposite side, unfastening them sluggishly before working on the shoulder. Once she heard the Velcro give with a wet snup, she inhaled deeply and ducked her head.

The slap of ice made her whimper, but she bore down and grasped at the open edges of the Kevlar, pulling it slowly over her shoulders and head, jerking upwards once it was free. It brushed by her foot on the way down before it was gone.

Sinking slightly, she grabbed the back of the post with her free arm and dug her fingers in. They sank into the pliable wood, sending splinters beneath the nail beds. But the cold had numbed them to a point where she no longer felt a thing. Her cheek slowly fell, thumping to a halt with her chin just brushing the surface of water.

Another wave of exhaustion hit and her eyes slid shut. Her arms were frozen where they were and not tight enough. She slid another few inches lower in the water, liquid brushing just beneath her nose.

Mind going fuzzy, her senses slowly fading, Andy began to pray.

And the air began to ring with the sound of sirens.

* * *

><p>Three patrol cars screamed onto the South Pier a grand total of seven minutes after the orders from dispatch had come in.<p>

"Shots fired, South Pier. Officer down. All available units, all units, to location as soon as possible."

In the lead car was Sam Sawrek. Behind them came Oliver Shaw and Gail Peck and pulling up the rear was Dove Epstein and Chris Diaz. They leapt out their respectful vehicles, moving as a single cohesive unit. Guns were drawn, eyes flicked from one spot to the next, intakes of breath when they recognized cruiser 1519.

Their training forced them not to dwell, so they surged outwards, watching the others' backs even as they looked for their officer and whoever had shot her. Five beams from their flashlights bobbed up and down in the darkness, dancing over the cold pavement.

No one protested when Sam took the lead. They simply flanked him and continued onward.

Chris and Oliver split off when they encountered the mass of shipping containers. Gail and Dov fell into step with ease.

They reached the end of the pier moments later. Calling out in the darkness, Sam shouted for the lion hearted girl. And there was no sound but the _wish _of water against the shore and the pier under their feet.

There was no sign of their missing officer, or any of the attackers. She had vanished. Gail and Dov retreated the way they came once it was apparent no one was this far out on the pier, but something told Sam to pause.

Standing on the edge, looking out over the lights from the city on the water, Sam cursed and the feeling disappeared so he turned to leave. Perhaps Oliver and Chris had had better luck. But then something gleamed at his feet and he stopped.

Crouched.

Cocked his head.

And felt his blood run cold.

Abandoned on the planks lay a gleaming pin, composed of the numbers one and five. It was one of the pins worn on the collar of 15th Divisions uniforms.

It took a second, but things started to click. He frowned, sinking into his thoughts and ignored the summoning shout from Oliver. Straightening from his crouch, Sam looked outwards once again.

Then it hit.

She was in the water.

...

* * *

><p><em>...<em>

_Author's Note: Hello readers! I would like to announce that I have commenced '**The Rookies Choice Awards'**, where authors can be recognized and recognize those stories you deem amazing. These awards will be held through May and June and would like to encourage each reader and author alike to participate in nominating their favorite fics and authors for the first year of the "__Rookies Choice Awards__!" The nomination ballot, rules and category summaries can each be found (in time) at "The Parade" Forum. To reach those posts, please take a trip to the forum itself. I look forward to hearing from each of you!_

_In order to get the word out to as many as possible, I ask you, my fellow authors and readers, to let others know of this exciting opportunity. Whether by author's notes or Facebook, please let everyone know that the awards season will begin soon._

_Thank you!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Moonlight On the Sea**

* * *

><p>And it's breaking over me<br>A thousand miles down to the sea bed  
>Found the place to rest my head<p>

~ Never Let Me Go : Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>The light carried in Sam's palm spun and swirled over the water, the beam jerking from place to place as it sought out something other than river murk to settle on. The powerful flashlight shook in his trembling hand with fear holding an ever tightening on his throat. Standing on the very lip Andy had tumbled over only minutes before; all he could do was stare outwards.<p>

One hand was on his radio, speaking his words with controlled force.

"This is 1514, we have an officer down at the South Pier. I repeat, officer down. Get medics here now."

"_10-4. EMT's are en-route._" Sam's fingers twitched on the button, but he supressed the urge to howl at Dispatch, aware it would be useless. His hand fell away from plastic square on his shoulder and fisted at his side, his other continuing with his sweep. The sickness in his stomach swirled to his heart.

"Oliver!" he bellowed, desperation growing by the second. Even though his light was strong, it couldn't penetrate the surface more than a few feet; it wasn't designed for use under water.

The sound of heavy footsteps clomping on the pier met his ears. "What?" Oliver replied sharply, puffing up the planks to stop a few feet back. "What the hell are you doing Sammy?"

Sam couldn't break his gaze away from the water. "She's in the water," he half choked, unable to keep his voice from cracking.

There was a beat of silence.

"Are you sure?" Shaw's tone was laced with worry, but also with disbelief. He simply refused to believe that they may have lost one of their own to the icy grip of the river; he wouldn't believe it unless he had to.

In answer, Sam broke away from his desperate search in order to toss the small pin at it. Catching it at the last moment, Oliver only had to take a quick glance at the metal object in his palm before cursing and reaching for his radio.

"Peck, get one of the cruisers out here now!" he barked.

The indignant reply arrived in a burst of static. "_Sir? There's no one-_"

"Just do it!" With that, Oliver raced to the opposite side of the edge and shone his flashlight down out over. Just before his feet was a small ramp leading down to a floating platform that the tug boats used for loading and unloading their crew. It was nearly invisible in the blackness, Oliver having almost missed it himself and barely missed a tumble down the wet wood. The shadow from the higher pier would hide it from anyone's view, excluding that of an oncoming ship.

Sam froze when he heard a faint splash from below him. It sounded almost as if a pebble had dropped.

He dropped his beam to look straight down.

At first, he almost missed it. But as he squinted and stared hard, he noticed something wrapped around the support beam directly beneath his feet. Dropping to one knee, he leaned out in order to get a better line of sight, ignoring Oliver's Chris' worried shout from up the pier, and air caught in his throat. The light from his flashlight glimmered off the pale skin of Andy's arms, submersed just under the waterline and the side of her face, which was tilted towards the wooden strut on which she hung. Her mouth and nose drifted just beneath the surface.

"She's over here!" Sam's voice rang out and he sprang to his feet, preparing himself to leap in after her. Shucking the heavy Kevlar vest he sported, he took a breath and crouched, kicking his boots to the side as rapidly as possible. A brilliant beam of light exploded behind him, casting his shadow as a monstrous figure over the river. Gail had arrived with the cruiser.

"What the hell-!" Oliver shouted, seeing the intent in his friend's posture.

Not wanting to waste any more time, but knowing Shaw would stop him if he didn't explain, Sam spoke quickly. Panicked. "Oliver, she doesn't have any air. I have to get her out."

Two sets of fearful eyes met and held. "Fine. Give me your light and I'll get you to the dock." Sam shoved the flashlight into Oliver's hands and swung back to face the water, receiving one last warning. "If you freeze on me Sammy, I swear I will kill you myself."

Then he dove.

The punch of the water was awesome. It sucked the air from his lungs in a snap second. Lashing out blindly, Sam fought the mindless panic that built when he opened his eyes and saw nothing. It was like being in the womb of some frozen beast, empty of any emotion, devoid of any hope. He snapped his head around frantically, but there was nothing. Here, grasped within the shade of the pier, the cruisers high beams were useless, instead trailing out into the night and leaving Sam drifting in the dark.

And the cold was terrifying, sending shooting points of pain through his system with every movement.

Suddenly, a spark of light hit his straining eyes and he swam for it, shooting through the barrier between water and air only a moment later. Taking a deep breath, Sam instantly began to swim towards where the light had fixed itself; the beam Andy clutched. He ignored the shouts from the other rookies above him, all training their beams on the water in a staccato of jerks, outlines illuminated in blazes of white from the squad car. He ignored the calls of encouragement from Oliver. He ignored the sound of sirens echoing in the air.

The cold water was slowly sapping his strength. Against his will, he wondered what Andy had felt when she had gone in. If this overwhelming urge to simply close his eyes and drift was an echo of what had happened. He could no longer feel his toes or fingers.

Reaching Andy, Sam kicked awkwardly with his legs, struggling to keep his head out of the water. He had never been the greatest of swimmers, preferring to spend his time on land instead. Growing up, he had spent more time with a sprinkler than in a pool, enjoying the idea of always having ground beneath his feet. Sure, he had taken those mandatory swimming lessons (he blamed his mother for that) but would never go out of his way for a swim.

For the first time in his life, he was regretting not taking more than a few lessons.

Somehow maneuvering his way behind Andy, Sam reached out and wrapped his own body around hers, using his longer arms to grab her hands and gently pull her away from the beam. It took all of his will to ignore how icy her skin was. How brittle her bones felt beneath flesh. How her face was still under water.

Crossing one arm over her shoulder and under her opposite arm as he had once seen on a survival documentary and began to swim lopsidedly towards where Oliver was waiting. It was long and grueling; Sam had no sense of time as he focused solely on pulling his free arm through the water and kicking as hard as he could.

It was only when his back bumped into the lower dock did he realize he had made it. There were hands everywhere, grabbing at his arms and clothes, at Andy's limp form and pulling them both from the ice cold depths.

Sam collapsed in a heap at Oliver and Chris' feet, unable to do more than hack and spit out the grime that had filled his throat. His body was a trembling mess, completely out of control as it shook and shivered. Coughing repeatedly, Sam struggled into a sitting position moments later and found an emergency blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Whoever had placed it there was long gone, either huddled over the still form on the planks or gone back up top to flag down the approaching Ambulance.

And he found himself staring at Oliver and Gail as they worked in tandem on Andy. Every twitch of McNally's body as Oliver compressed her chest, the hopeful appearance of her chest rising when Gail breathed for her became etched in Sam's mind. He couldn't look away even as it made him sick to see his partner lay there, so devoid of life she no longer resembled the woman who carried the heart of a lion with her.

The little details snapped into sharp clarity. How the light from a handful of flashlights made her skin seem waxy and fake, how numerous long gashes marred the insides of her arms and not one bled, how the uniform shirt she wore was plastered to her body and made her appear so small, so fragile. And especially how serene and blank her face was.

Crawling the few feet to her side was torture, but he made it. Keeping careful to stay just out of Gail's way, hating the hollow hissing sound that rang out whenever the blond filled Andy's lungs, he settled himself and took her hand. By now, he had been forgotten in the mad scramble to get the EMT's down the ramp.

So, he held her hand in silence and prayed even as the medics raced to them and took over.

By now the shudders had ceased. But Sam wasn't warm.

...

* * *

><p><em>...<em>

_Author's Note: Hello readers! I would like to announce that I have commenced '**The Rookies Choice Awards'**, where authors can be recognized and recognize those stories you deem amazing. These awards will be held through May and June and would like to encourage each reader and author alike to participate in nominating their favorite fics and authors for the first year of the "__Rookies Choice Awards__!" The nomination ballot, rules and category summaries can each be found (in time) at "The Parade" Forum. To reach those posts, please take a trip to the forum itself. I look forward to hearing from each of you!_

_In order to get the word out to as many as possible, I ask you, my fellow authors and readers, to let others know of this exciting opportunity. Whether by author's notes or Facebook, please let everyone know that the awards season will begin soon._

_Thank you!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Moonlight On the Sea**

* * *

><p>And the arms of the ocean are carrying me<br>And all this devotion was rushing out of me  
>In the crushes of heaven for a sinner like me<br>But the arms of the ocean delivered me

~Never Let Me Go : Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>She was being rocked gently, the sensation equivalent to that of a mother rocking her baby.<p>

Not that Andy had any recollection of such a feeling.

Side to side and back again, over and over, the water beneath her undulating in steady discourse. A warm sun beat down on her skin and a cool breeze played with the strands of hair encircling her face. She was dressed in a thin strapped racing swim suit, perfect for slicing through the water. The taste of ocean filled her mouth, took its place on the back of her tongue, the bitter salt providing a sense of home.

Her eyes were closed in defense against the brilliant light that was directly above where she floated, her form suspended by only the grip of the water. Even so, her eyelids were painted pink on the inside. It was a soft color, the shade she could only associate with happiness and peace.

It was warm here. And safe.

Andy didn't want to leave.

She didn't want to go back to a world where she was shot in the back and left in the river.

Stretching luxuriously, skin gleefully welcoming the warmth of the sun, Andy felt her muscles pull in a gratifying way. She felt like a cat, basking in the sun, completely at ease. She could even feel the tendrils of sleep starting to reach out.

Even so, she couldn't shake the nagging murmur in her mind telling her something was wrong. It slithered around and around, words and coherent realities just out of reach. The frustration at having something at the tip of her metaphorical tongue caged away from her grasp was enough to ignore it all together.

She took a deep breath, longing for the comfort of sea.

Only there was no air.

Her mouth opened and gaped like a fish on land, her body shaking in warm liquid and dunking her below the surface, but still no air entered her lungs. Panicked, her hands clawed at her sides. The pink she saw brightened to a point where it hurt, even with her eyes closed, turning a fiery yellow in shade.

Something slammed her chest.

And the world went dark. The waves rose, turning vicious and cruel, abandoning the gentle. Sucked beneath the surface, Andy went spinning down into the darkness, dropping further and further away from the safety she had just felt. She struck out, desperate to get back to the gentle warmth, but she was powerless against the force of the undertow.

Endless seconds were spent falling.

Then she burst through, water spilling from her throat in a spray of icy and bile.

Eyes screwed shut, all she heard was the startled gasp from someone near her head and a grunt of approval from another at her side. Her body felt as though it had been hit by a truck and frozen. The pain in her chest blocked out any true coherent thought.

Rolling to her side, she spit and hacked, back arching as her insides tried to meet the outside world. Water tasting of sickness escaped her jaws and burned her tongue, but she kept coughing. She couldn't stop. She needed the sick out of her. Her eyes could only open to slits, the lashes matted together with ice, and stare at the blurred colors of night and paramedics.

So she hacked and breathed and clung to whatever was encasing her hand with warmth. It lured and repelled her as one. Still semi-conscious as she was loaded onto a gurney, aware enough to hear the thick anger as the warm hand around hers was taken away, but unable to do more than let her limp form move as the motion took it.

Part of her began to weep, deep on the inside, for the sea of peace she had lost to be thrust back into this cold world.

She passed out when she was put in the back of the first ambulance.

* * *

><p>Andy McNally died on the South Pier.<p>

For four minutes after she was pulled from the water, blood didn't flow, synapses didn't fire and her heart, that lion's hear, didn't beat. She didn't live on her own, held to the world only by Oliver's steady pumping of her chest and Gail's breath. She was pronouncedly dead for those four minutes plus the unknown amount she had spent in the water.

Full on, bury-me-in-the-ground, doornail dead.

It was funny; in a sick way.

A snort burst through Sam's lips before he could stop it and he received a sidewise, yet concerned, look from the paramedic next to him. Sam ignored it. He was too busy trying to put himself back together.

Huddled under a thick emergency blanket, all he could focus on was that one point. That one insignificant and enormous detail. McNally had quite literally died. The ambulance he rode in jerked as it passed over a bump and his body swayed limply with the motion. His eyes fluttered to half-mast and he had to battle back the edges of exhausted sleep.

He would be awake when they reached the hospital. And he would stay with his partner.

The two patrol cars escorting the twin ambulances as they headed for Baycrest cast blue and red onto the streets as they hurtled past, the whine of their sirens echoing and reverberating to the equally loud shrills of the buses. Driven by Diaz and Epstien respectively, cruisers 1514 and 1512 led while Peck drove her and Oliver's squad, 1517 with Andy's patrol car, 1519 completing the formation in the back, Shaw at the wheel. Much to Sam's distress, no one was accompanying Andy but the paramedics as he hadn't been allowed to ride with his partner. Instead, he had been forced to ride in the second bus in order to be looked over. Other than a mild case of hypothermia and moderate exhaustion, he was fine.

No one could say the same for her.

From what he had overheard from the medics before she was loaded up was that she was suffering from a severe case of hypothermia, a handful of broken ribs from the two shots she had taken to the back of her vest and had received some serious lacerations from the jagged edges of wood. But what they were more worried about was the possibility of brain damage from being _dead_ for so long.

Clenching his jaw, Sam refused to think about it. She would be fine and she would come back.

He knew it.

He prayed it.

The ambulance jerked to a halt and Sam was out the back before the medic could protest. He heard the annoyed shouts distantly, but they were easily ignored. Stumbling on tired legs, he rushed towards the other bus docked by the Emergency room doors as it was unloading the gurney the pale shell of Andy lay on. He tried to make his way to her side, but was pushed back by the responding doctors, who were snapping orders at one another. Growling, he tried again, only to find his arms bound by Oliver. The emergency blanket hampered Sam's movements and he was forced to watch as they wheeled her away into the depths of the hospital.

"Let them save her Sammy," Shaw murmured. "She's in their hands now."

After a moment were Sam pressed slightly forward still in denial, the surge of energy abruptly left his body and he was left on trembling legs, leaning on his friend for support.

"Let's get inside where it's warm alright?"

Sam nodded dejectedly and allowed himself to be led down the same path McNally had taken. Dimly, he heard Dov, Chris and Gail join them, but didn't acknowledge. He simply stumbled into the ER after his partner.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Okay, time for something a little different today guys. (Apologies for the delay; life has a way of killing any free time.)<em>

_First of all, thank you so much to all readers and reviewers alike. You are all amazing. Thank you. Also, a special thanks goes out to Annie Blythe, Roseau76, CytheraofNaxen and Radiant Angel Girl in regards to their responses to a certain review. (You know the one). You guys are pretty awesome people._

_And secondly, in regards to the aforementioned review, I feel I must say this. I took no offense to it (weird huh?) because honestly, all it was worth was a laugh. Maybe it makes me an oddball, but that's the truth._

_If you are looking for my usual shtick about the **Rookies Choice Awards, **please see the Author's Notes at the bottom of the previous three chapters._

_Thanks again._


	5. Chapter 5

**Moonlight On the Sea**

* * *

><p>Though the pressures hard to take<br>It's the only way I can escape  
>It seems a heavy choice to make<br>And now I am under all

~ Never Let Me Go : Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>After being examined by one of the emergency room doctors, Sam was left in a bed off to the side of the ER with a new blanket wrapped around his shoulders. This one was dry and thick, the fuzz bordering on itchy. Bits of fluff would shoot up his nostrils whenever he turned his head. He was also constantly sneezing through a running nose.<p>

His muscles were over taxed and trembling, his mind and body alike screaming for rest which he refused to grant. The scrubs given to him by one of the orderlies smelled like antiseptic and scratched at his skin. He almost missed his sopping wet uniform. Almost. If the water hadn't been so damn cold, he probably would have refused to baby blue shirt and drawstring pants.

All in all, he was miserable and half out of his mind with worry.

And he was pretty sure Oliver wanted to strangle him. As much as Sam hated to admit it, ever so slowly, some of his green eyed friend's words were starting to seep in.

"Sammy, just watching you is making my head hurt. Go to sleep and get some rest," Shaw grumbled, twisting his hands over and over in his own form of nerves. For some reason, the motion was fascinating and Sam's gazed was fixed on the two hands dancing around the other. It also had a calming effect and his eye lids drooped low once again.

"I can't and you know it," Sam retorted, the simultaneous tick in his thigh jumping to agree. He winced and clenched a fist over it, pressing sharply.

"No Sam, what I know is that if you don't get some rest and look less like you've taken a tour through hell, no one's going to let you back to see her," Shaw snapped, patients growing thinner and thinner as his own exhaustion and fear rode his lapels. Across the room, Gail looked up from the floor and peered across at the senior officers.

Despite Sam's assurances that he was fine, that the rookie should go wait with Chris and Dov for their friend, the icy blonde had yet to leave. She met Oliver's gaze for a brief moment before dropping hers back to the same square of tile she had been studying since arrival.

Sam let out a short growl and shoveled his free hand through his hair. Oliver didn't say a word. An explosive sigh escaped Sam's throat and he scrubbed at his eyes angrily. He then peered at the man next to him. "You'll wake me as soon as anything happens?"

The question held more threat than anything else, but Shaw wasn't fazed. "I promise Sammy. Now go to sleep."

Deciding it was best not to pursue any type of conversation further; Sam sank back on the thin hospital mattress and pulled the thick blanket tighter. Instantly, he was pulled under a wave of exhaustion and into a dark oblivion. He couldn't even fight it off; simply let himself fall into the deep well.

And was gone.

* * *

><p>Three hours after Sam allowed his body to give into sleep, Andy woke to a small, dark room.<p>

For a long time, she simply lay on the hard mattress (not hers) and examined the ceiling as she tried to fight past the pain in her chest. It felt as though some massive creature had taken up residence upon it and something akin to a quilt had wrapped itself around her lungs. Her back was also home to two twin points of pulsating pain, ones that caused her breathing to become paralyzed whenever she inhaled too much.

Every single movement, sound, sight, sensation was so damn harsh compared to the warm ocean. Simply laying there was enough for her to yearn for the water. For the peace. Because there was no way anything on earth could ever be as much of a home than that sunny ocean.

The lines above her were too sharp and cutting, the gown she wore was made of harsh fabrics that irritated and smelled, the swirl of smells in the room were strong and nauseating. Everything was made jagged, cold and unforgiving.

So she was reduced to taking in short, quick pants and stare unblinkingly at the tile above her in order to battle back the swell of tears which had come into existence in a snap. Apparently, the sound of her stuttering breathing was enough to alert a person to her state of consciousness, because she felt a trembling hand encase hers and a voice break through the quiet.

"Andy?"

It was her dad. Moving no more than a fraction of an inch, she tilted her head to the side and even that was enough to have her body shriek in protest.

"Shh, shh, don't move, little one. It's okay. Everything's okay."

Hearing her father's voice crack was enough to spur speech.

"… Dad?" The word scrapped out her windpipe harshly, earning a flinch from him and quiet whimper from her.

"Yeah sweetie, I'm here." The worry radiating from him nearly broke the dam of tears. But not quite.

"Why… does… my… throat… hurt...?" Andy gasped out, clawing the hand not around his against her thigh.

"Oh sweetie. They had to put you on a ventilator because you weren't breathing on your own for a while." Suddenly, eyes so much like her own and filled with tortured fear, flicked into her line of sight. "You were technically … dead for a long time and your lungs didn't catch up quickly." Tommy's head bowed and rested on their intertwined hands as his resolve crumbled and the sobs began to wrack his body. Listening to her father cry, Andy only felt empty.

She blinked once, slowly and owlishly, as things began to click together and her spirit wailed for what she had lost when she had returned to the land of the living.

It hit her then, what she had to do.

What she needed to do in order to survive. Because, as much as she wished it, she couldn't leave Tommy, not when he had already lost everything else and she couldn't leave her friends. It would destroy them and she knew it.

Realization dawned and she knew she couldn't leave Sam either. Not in the mortal sense. But otherwise? She needed to get away or she would never be able to forgive him.

"Is… Best… here?"

"What?" Her dad lifted his head and Andy felt something clench at his bloodshot eyes. However, before she could open her mouth to repeat, he caught up and nodded slowly, confusion coming to life.

"Could you… get him?"

"But Sam- You should- Are you sure?" He fumbles briefly with words before the empty look she gives him (the one conjured by simple mention of Sam) is enough to get things straight. Finally, he settles on patting her shoulder awkwardly and heading for the door.

She can see the tension in his shoulders, the tiredness and pain in his walk but can't bring herself to do anything. Part of her knows just how hard this was on her dad, just how much he needs any kind of reassurance right now, but the other part, the bit that has grown cold and realized that being alive hurts, has taken away compassion.

When he reaches the door, hands still trembling, she speaks mechanically. "I'll be… fine. Don't… worry." And that small statement instigates a tiny transformation. She can see it in the way his body straightens and a little bit of darkness flies from his eyes as he looks back. Then Tommy is out the door and she's left alone.

Knowing she has only a short amount of time for privacy, she closed her eyes and began to weep.

...

* * *

><p><em>...<em>

_Author's Note: Thank you to all readers and reviewers. As always, you are all amazing._

_The important bit of this note: Moonlight On the Sea is nearing an end! I hope you stay tuned. ^.^_

_If you are looking for my usual shtick about the **Rookies Choice Awards, **please see the Author's Notes at the bottom of the first three chapters._

_Thanks again._


	6. Chapter 6

**Moonlight On the Sea**

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><p>And it's over<br>And I'm going under  
>But I'm not giving up<br>I'm just giving in

~ Never Let Me Go : Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>When Frank Best entered the small hospital room minutes later, Tommy McNally on his heels, Andy's eyes were dry and her face composed. The edges of the thick blanket, now damp, tucked beneath her arms spoke a different story, one she knew no one could see in the dim lighting.<p>

"Officer McNally." Frank's voice held pride as he walked to her side, taking her hand in his. "It's good to have you back."

On instinct, she forced a crooked smile on her face. "Thanks."

Pulling out a chair, Best settled himself while Tommy stood with his back to the wall at her feet. She watched her dad for a long moment, but said nothing.

"Your dad says you want to talk to me about something. Are you sure you don't want to wait until tomorrow when you're stronger?"

"Yeah… I'm… sure." Coughing slightly, Andy nodded.

"Okay. What can I do for you?"

* * *

><p>A gentle hand shook Sam awake and out of his chaotic dreams.<p>

The blanket slipped from his shoulders when he sat bolt upright, thundering heart pounding in his ears. His body shook in a mixture of shivers and fear as the dream started to fade from memory, leaving behind a blind feeling of panic.

"Whoa, Sam, you're fine man. Calm down," Oliver spoke softly.

"What… what happened?" Sam asked, his voice gravelly from sleep.

"Nothing, Sam. It's okay." Oliver offered a smile. "She's awake."

Sam's head shot up and he was off the bed in a flash, despite the protests from his muscles. "Where?"

Grinning, Shaw just turned and gestured to follow.

Eventually, after climbing up a floor and turning down several hallways, they arrived at a door surrounded by the rookies, several other uniforms and Jerry. Each head lifted to face Sam and applause broke out in a wave. Ducking his head, Sam felt a wash of something akin to shyness. Instead of meeting the gazes of the other officers, he tried to make his way to the door, simply looking to see her again.

See her breathing.

But a hand stopped him. Oliver met the growing confusion and anger in Sam's eyes and said simply, "she's in with Best and her dad right now. Give them a minute."

At that moment, the door to room 715 swung open and Best, with Tommy McNally just behind him, strode out. The pair caught sight of Sam instantly and no one could mistake what their reaction was for anything but a stutter. But it was masked quickly, with Tommy heading in the direction of the nurses' station and Frank straightening and his mask of professionalism slipping in place.

"Officer Swarek, word of your rescue has spread. Congratulations." A hand was extended and shook.

"Thank you sir… Can I go in?" Again, a look of something odd slid through Best's eyes, but was gone before Sam could place it. And he wanted more than anything to go inside room 715 instead of examining whatever was going on with the boss.

"Sure. She's in and out, but you can stay with her." There was no hesitation in the response.

Sam nodded and pushed the door open.

Blinking furiously in the low light, Sam approached the bed on the side of the room, his heart in his throat. Unconsciously tightening the thick wool around his shoulders, he shifted on nervous feet and stopped at the side, legs giving out like jell-o. He landed heavily in the chair and stared at Andy's face.

It was no longer the pale and lifeless color he had burned in his mind from on the pier, instead replaced with warm tones and serenity. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing slightly off kilt. Clenching a hand to control his emotions, to keep the pure, undiluted relief inside, Sam leaned forward and brushed a finger across her cheek.

"McNally… I'm so glad you're okay." Sucking in a shaking breath, he continued on an exhale. "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me? Or I swear I'll kick your ass myself."

With that, the damn shattered and something inside snapped. Bowing his head, Sam dropped his head on the bed and he snaked his fingers around hers. He held tight, rocking back and forth as he battled for control.

For a brief moment, there was no reaction. Then, a tiny twitch in the fingers between his.

His head snapped up and froze when he met hazy brown eyes. She blinked once, slowly, and peered at him without expression.

Then, "… Sam?"

He nearly flinched at the harsh scrapping emanating over her words.

"Yeah, I'm right here. Right here."

He watched her throat work in a swallow with gritted teeth.

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. It's alright."

A shadow passed across her face as she stared at their joined hands and Sam felt a ball of ice form in his belly. Then it was gone, just as the expressions of her father and Best and her lips twitched into a weak smile.

"You can… stay," she whispered.

"Always."

She didn't reply. Instead, she slid back into sleep, with him following shortly after.

* * *

><p>It was three days later, when Andy was released from the hospital, did Sam find out exactly what she and Frank had spoken about.<p>

The two had spent those three days together, him hovering and encouraging as she regained strength and the bruises turned a spectacular array of colors. Gradually, her breathing became easier as the broken ribs started knitting themselves back together. The jagged gashes on her arms only bled the first night, when she had accidently struck them against the rails in her sleep. A quick bandages had taken care of it, but the sight of the thick red blood slowly spreading through the gauze had been enough to send Sam into a mild panic.

It was that night when Sam slept by her side in the chair. One of the nurses had found him there in the middle of the night, after he had snuck back in once visiting hours were over. The no-nonsense woman had tried to force him from the room, but had eventually been worn down by Sam's ridiculous dimples and Andy's incredulous expression. A few moments later, there had been a small and rather grungy cot brought in, but it was better than the chair.

The days were spent with visitors from the precinct pouring in steadily. Traci and the rest of the rookies had taken up permanent residence outside the door whenever they weren't on duty. Despite orders otherwise, they would stop by once or twice during shift to say hi to their friend. While Sam found this incredibly annoying, Andy thought it was adorable and somehow always convinced him to see her side.

They talked about everything. Gossip, television shows, favorite foods, friends, family, anything except the water. Whenever he tried, be it subtly or openly, to ask what had happened, she shut down and wouldn't speak to anyone for hours. After some time, he recognized trauma for what it was and stopped, but could never shake the feeling there was more to the story then was publicly known.

Sam himself was able to spend all hours with her because the doctors had ordered him to take a week off in order to recover from his stint in the frigid water. Part of him suspected Andy was steadily growing more and more perturbed by his presence, but she didn't say a word. As hours passed with her slowly moving from place to place about room 715 and him perched to one side, ready to jump in and help if she ever needed it, Sam sought the shadow he had seen that first night. But it was gone, shuttered away under her healing.

Until the day she was discharged.

They stood outside, waiting for her dad to arrive in order to bring her home, wind tearing at both their clothes and hair with vicious strength.

For a long time, they stood in silence, her quiet and withdrawn, him growing more and more edgy as they waited. Part of him already knew what was coming, the other part denying vehemently.

Not that it would make a difference.

"I've asked Best for time off." The words were spoken so softly, the wind almost tore them away.

"That's good; you'll have more time to heal." The denial became more evident.

Out of the corner of his eye, she shifted uncomfortably. "Actually, I asked for a few months." She turned to him and rested a shaking hand on his arm. Saying nothing until he lifted his gaze to hers, she bit her lip and worried at it for a minute. "Sam, I don't know if I'm coming back."

There it was. Out in the open and still like a sucker punch.

"Why?" was the toneless response.

"Because…" She took a breath as if preparing to dive under the waves. "Because you made me stay Sam. I was at peace, in a place where no one hurt, where everything was kind and warm and you took my hand and pulled me back. And now I'm inside out and wish you hadn't jumped in after me."

With those words out, her head hung limply and the hand at his arm stilled.

With those words, she had sucked the air from his lungs and replaced it with emptiness and dread.

"I'm so sorry Sam. But every time I look at you, I remember what you did. I want to be happy, I want to be happy with you, but I can't. I just can't."

A short honk echoed from just down the road, and they looked over to see Tommy McNally waiting in his truck.

The ball of ice in Sam's belly that had formed three days ago, suddenly exploded outwards and enveloped his limbs, his mind, his heart. He was numb. He looked away.

"Sam, please, look at me. Please." The pleading in her voice undid him and he lifted tortured eyes to hers.

"I'm sorry. But you have to let me go." He searched her gaze desperately, for something that would tell him this was all a big joke, she was just pulling his leg.

All he found was a broken girl in so much pain.

Not trusting his words, he jerked his head in a nod and stepped back. The ice inside hardened. And he held onto the fact she was alive like a dying man.

She followed him that one step and leaned in, pressing cool lips to his cheek. Running a hand across his back, she tilted her head to his ear. "Goodbye Sam."

With that, she walked away and didn't turn back.

But she was walking, she was breathing. She was alive.

And that would have to be enough to hold off the ice.

For now.

...

* * *

><p><em>...<em>

_Author's Note: The End._

_Or is it?_

_We shall see..._

_Thank you to all readers and reviewers. As always, you are all amazing. Any comments, thoughts, concerns and critiques are always welcome and always appreciated._

_If you are looking for my shtick about the **Rookies Choice Awards, **please see the Author's Notes at the bottom of the first three chapters._

_See you around._


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